computer bride

I am happy to report that since starting this blog, I’ve received my very first email soliciting my advice. “Quel surprise!” I exclaimed because I’m fucking classy and can speak rudimentary French.

To say the least, I’m flattered that someone trusts a blog with a unicorn barfing out its butt to give sound advice (that’s your bad). Secondly, it means I’m actually going to drop some useful knowledge in this post (hopefully), instead of just complaining like an astute toddler who first realizes the world isn’t fair.

Ahem, so, OK. The question was about how I was able to find a venue in less than three weeks in December 2012 for a wedding in May 2013. As noted in my last post, most wedding vendors look at you like you just told them you left a newborn baby in a dumpster when you reveal you’re planning a wedding in less than six months. Either that, or they just laugh in your face.

And so, I decided to avoid people altogether and instead rely on pure circuitry and wires—the good ol’ Internet. A few Google searches later (i.e., “cool wedding venues DC”), and—ta-da!—Glen Echo Park popped up. I showed it to my significant other and my fiance (my significant other is obviously my cat) and sent an email, “Any Saturdays available next year?”

I got this in reply: “No, but we have, like, two Fridays and a Sunday morning.” OK, so I paraphrased a bit, but the basic gist was, “Uh-uh,” albeit a very polite and extra helpful “uh-uh.” And so I went back to the proverbial drawing board, but before I could doodle out another plan (still lobbying for an elaborate elopement in Bali), my phone rang. It was Glen Echo informing us of a cancellation in May. “WHERE DO WE SIGN?” Literally, about two hours later, we ventured to the park, toured the venue, signed a contract and laid down a deposit. Did I mention that besides the Internet, getting extremely lucky is also your best friend?

“But Marissa, isn’t that kind of a bad omen that you got the date you wanted only because someone else cancelled?” you ask.

To that, I answer, “No, silly. I’m sure whoever cancelled simply found a different venue that suited their needs better. Maybe. Shh. Be quiet. I don’t need to know any more than what my optimistic imagination is telling me…”

Plus, isn’t this post about how much of a nice little helper the Internet is? On that tip, I’ll tell you this: besides the venue, I also found my decidedly not very wedding-y wedding dress on the Internet, a feat impossible to accomplish for a reasonable price at most IRL bridal shops (especially in DC). Sure, you don’t have your mom and gaggle of friends around to tell you yay or nay, but really, does that matter? You’re the one wearing it and everybody knows mother Google knows best. And that size 0 model looks good so…

OK, so I need to take it to get altered, but most every garment one buys needs a little tailoring, so it’s cool.

All right, any more questions? Email me at theantiwedding at gmail dot com for more (possibly useless) gems. Hooray?

P.S. The above stock photo? THANKS, WEDDING INDUSTRY. You’re so amazingly creative.