My statcounter (that my cat’s in charge of interpreting, so who knows how accurate it is) tells me that visitors of this here web log love looking at dresses, whether it’s thumb’s upping good onestalkin’ shit about bad ones or laughing about the simply unexplainable. Well, that is awesome because I love looking at dresses, too. Especially when I’ve been sick in bed for three days with the plague…

But enough about me mainlining echinacea, let’s talk about short dresses. Here’s what I think: although I purchased a long dress for myself, I like short dresses a lot. Not only do I think they can be just as elegant as long gowns, but they also offer a little more function with their form. Short dresses are much easier to dance in than long gowns because you don’t have to worry about people stepping on your hem. Me? I’ll be too drunk to notice.

In any case, while I won’t be getting married in any of the five non-wedding wedding dresses* pictured below, maybe you will?

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Silk chiffon embroidered awesomeness by Lela Rose. $3,495 (I KNOW) at Bergdorf Goodman.

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Swarovski crystal-embellished (it sounds more unicorn-barfy than it looks, right?) silk-chiffon dress by Matthew Williamson. $3,235 at Net-a-Porter.

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Handmade in New York (!!!) drop-waist silk dress with flower detail by Imitation of Christ. $2,090 at Opening Ceremony.

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Rowan dress by Rag & Bone. On sale for $239 at Barney’s.

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Slinky jersey hi-lo dress with beaded embellishment at neck by Tbags Los Angeles. On sale for $138.60 at ShopBop.

I’ll tell you my favorite. It’s the Imitation of Christ one smack dab in the middle. Although I’m pretty sure I’d look pear-ish in a drop waist dress and I’m not so sure about the crotch-area appliqué, but the sheer artistry of the damn thing has me in awe.

*You can’t find these in typical bridal shops.