I got some spam in my inbox from TheKnot.com today begging to tell me about my engagement in exchange for a chance to win $200. So, I clicked on it…

I like $200.

What I don’t like, however, is TheKnot.com. I mean, look at the rest of this email:


Like, calm down. Three questions in a row is too much, especially when two of them are about the material object that goes along with the proposal, rather than the proposal itself. How romantic…

In short, having a small chance of winning $200 isn’t worth giving TheKnot.com any window into my personal life.

But all this unicorn-barfy idiocy aside, one thing about this email bothered me above everything else: WHERE ARE THAT WOMAN’S SHOES? Did they fall into the swamp or whatever type of marshy body of water that extremely long bridge to nowhere is headed? That sucks.