Like, I can’t wear 3″ platform Loeffler Randall sandals to my own wedding, right?

Or can I? They’re so unsexy, but also so freaking cool. Right? Maybe?

It’d be like a big ol’ welcome to the next 50 years, future husband!  In sickness, health and orthopedic footwear…

Luckily, they’re $395, so obviously I won’t be making any impulse purchases.

But dang, I need some advice, e-friends! Am I too anti-wedding for my outfit’s own good?