So, for our next big, pressing, annoying wedding conundrum, my fiance and I are trying to figure out how to decorate the ceremony space. Although it’s called the “Cuddle Up Pavilion,” it’s about as warm and fuzzy as a cinderblock… which also just so happens to be what it might be made out of. In any case, I mistakenly decided to Google “easy wedding decoration ideas,” thinking that’d help. But of course, thanks to the WIC, which apparently controls all wedding, related SEO search terms, the Web only led me to a unicorn-barf-saturated website called “The Wedding Channel.”

And as if the name of the site isn’t pukey enough, its contents are even worse, like a tapeworm in the Internet’s gut. The site just eats up words and spits them out in amazingly repulsive ways.

For instance, here’s an idea from the article I clicked on entitled 30 Surprisingly Easy Ways to Decorate


Uh, really? Just add crystal?

I closed my browser after that, because that little snippet of advice, combined with one of the others, which was to get married in a venue that came pre-decorated (THEN WHY WOULD I BE READING AN ARTICLE FOR DECORATING TIPS?!), made my eyes roll so hard I got a headache.

Speaking of, I need to go take drugs. Legal ones. For now… TTYL!