If you’re familiar with prolific YouTube/Vine/Twitter/Life-Meme genius RiFF RAFF, you may recognize some words in this post’s title. If not, then watch this interview, in which the James Franco-in-Spring Breakers lookalike (or is that the RiFF RAFF-in-Spring Breakers James Franco?) switches into his equally genius alter ego, Jody Highroller, to explain his high school experience. In short, he didn’t go to high school, he “bought one.” But only after showing people how to put the creases in the pants first. Seriously. Go watch it. Then click on that there above picture and watch the video it links to. RiFF RAFF’s take on modern art is nothing short of exquisite.
BUT FIRST, read the rest of this essay, especially now that you’re read far enough for me to go way off topic just to tell you how I came up with the title of this post via RiFF RAFF. (You’ll thank me later.)
Back to the subject at hand—buying weddings.
While you can do that simply by purchasing a wedding planner’s time to do all your bidding for you (something this D.I.Y.-er highly recommends if you’re loaded and don’t hate yourself), if you’re looking to get the Groupon deal of weddings, there’s a website for that: Bridal Brokerage. Here’s a very professional local news clip about it… which I can’t embed on WordPress with any sort of technological ease so, I’ll just quote excessively from the accompanying story:
A one-of-a-kind online bridal business based in Charlottesville is buying and selling canceled weddings…
…Bridal Brokerage’s founder Lauren Byrne thought of the idea after talking to a friend who was part of a canceled destination wedding in St. Johns.
Chief Marketing Officer Jeff Smidt said, “The friend said ‘I’ve purchased my bridesmaid dress, the plane ticket, the hotel room. I’m going to lose all that money. Why can’t one of our other friends just buy the entire wedding?’ And that’s sort of when the light bulb clicked for Lauren…”
“…Folks really want the discount and not only do they want the discount, they want to be able to get a wedding that they don’t have to plan,” Smidt said.
“…When somebody goes and cancels a wedding, they’ve usually spent a whole lot of money on deposits and pre-payments and before Bridal Brokerage launched, they were just losing all that money,” Smidt said. “We found that new couples might be willing to take over those deposits then pick up the balance of the contract and purchase the rights to these beautiful pre-planned weddings at a fraction of the cost.
You know what? Not a bad idea. While it may seem a bit dismal that you’re getting a such a good deal due to another couple’s misfortune, I’m sure that’ll be easy to forget about once you realize you don’t have to go on food stamps after your “big day.” Plus, as one half of a the couple, who scored their venue after some other couple canceled? I don’t believe in superstition. I’m gonna go break a mirror and find a ladder to walk under right now. Then watch more RiFF RAFF stuff on the Internetz.