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Did you know that WordPress has a built-in stat counter? Yes? No? Who gives a shit? Well, while I, too, am inclined to lean toward the last answer, I’m going to care about this little factoid for a minute because it leads me to a relatively ridiculous introduction for this post. Ready? (You have no choice.)

So, this stat counter keeps track of such things as what Google search terms lead people to this here corner of the Web. My favorite so far is the gratifyingly good, job-well-done phrase of “my fiancee won’t let me wear a big white wedding dress.” Then there’s the majority, which includes the perv-welcoming phrase of “please make this picture into porn.” More importantly (although less hilariously) that the specifics, however, is that said stat counter also tells me things like what posts on this blog are the most popular. Turns out, due to searchers who use terms like the aforementioned variety, my two most popular posts are my SEO-attractive-for-all-the-wrong-reasons “Please Don’t Make Wedding Porn” and the relatively neutral “Wedding Dresses I Actually Like.”

Alas, armed with that kind of innocuous information, Internet, boy (who’s probably a perv in the wrong place), do I have a treat for you. While this post won’t involve any nudity, which surely will disappoint the majority of this blog’s accidental visitors, it will involve a whole bunch of dress porn, aka pictures of dresses.

Yes, in an effort to booster my own stats and pad my e-ego, I present for your consideration, a few more wedding dresses, or more accurately, non-wedding wedding dresses that I actually like. (And if you actually read through all these words, instead of just scrolled down to the pictures, I love you.)

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Here’s a fine, cream-colored and black silk-chiffon number from Danish designer By Malene Birger that features sequined (I KNOW, BUT I STILL LIKE IT) black straps and belt and a tiered skirt. But the best part?

But the back is killer. Plus, it's on sale for $580, marked down from $1,450, on The Outnet.

The back is killer, and it’s on sale for $580, marked down from $1,450, on The Outnet.

I've made no secret of my love for Mara Hoffman and this dress is no exception. A kind of reverse mullet, this dress is party up front...

I’ve made no secret of my love for Mara Hoffman and this silk and beaded dress is no exception. A kind of reverse mullet, this dress is party up front…

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…And all sorts of classic elegance in the back. It’s going for $999 on both Shopbop and Bona Drag.

And here's where things get a little weird. Although I'm sure this Antonio Berardi chiffon number isn't for everyone, it'd be one helluva middle finger to give to the bridal fashion industry whilst walking down the aisle.

And here’s where things get a little weird. Although I’m sure this Antonio Berardi chiffon number isn’t for everyone, it’d be one helluva middle finger to give to the bridal fashion industry whilst walking down the aisle.

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Plus, after the wedding’s over, you now have an outfit for Comic-Con. It’s $2,157 on Matches.

Also found on Matches, this fringe dress is extra dramatic for those looking for a short gown. It's also extra pricey at $2,160.

Also found on Matches, this fringe dress is extra dramatic for those looking for a short gown. It’s also extra pricey at $2,160.

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Another winner by Danish designer By Malene Birger is this Lanamili Silk Embellished Maxi Dress. Can you tell I like pops of neon yellow right now?

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And the awesome back is a total bonus. It’s $919.88 on My-Wardrobe.com.

Back to short dresses for a second, this lil' number from Catherine Deane is nothing sort of righteous.

Back to short dresses for a second, this lil’ number from Catherine Deane is nothing sort of righteous.

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Mostly because the bodice is composed of LASER-CUT LEATHER. It’s $1,067.01 on My-Wardrobe.com.

Finally, I saved the most scandalous and borderline tacky number for last.

Finally, I saved the most scandalous and borderline-tacky garment for last.

Not only is it, um, polyester, but it also show's quite a bit of hip (although at least it's covered in nude, albeit sheer, fabric).

Not only is it, um, polyester, but it also shows quite a bit of hip (although at least it’s covered in nude, albeit sheer polyester, fabric).

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Despite all that, something about it really works for me. It could be the back, which is GORGEOUS. Made by Maria Lucia Hohan, this dress is going for $1,125 at Luisa Via Roma.

As always, if  you want more info on any of the above non-wedding-wedding dresses, the photos all link back to the website where I found ’em.

In closing, may you all find what you want to wear without having to set foot in a bridal salon.

And P.S.? Don’t make your bridesmaids go to those horrid places of pouffy commerce either. *shudder*

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