While I’m extremely pleased I didn’t discover the below-pictured mess of a reality show casting call myself (someone on Facebook alerted me), my relief that I’m still on the outside of the wedding industry wasn’t enough to temper the recoiling disgust I felt when I read this abortion of a flier. (Seriously, how did this production team manage to find a graphic designer whose sole inspiration was the inside of a ’90s junior high school kid’s Trapper Keeper?)

ImageI mean, really, aren’t there enough of these shows on television already that propagate the worst of humanity in wedding form? Do we really need one more curly-qued dump of a series attempting to portray bad behavior as normal? No. No we don’t.

We’ve already got TLC’s Say Yes to the Dress, the sole goal of which seems to be assuring people that it’s OK to go into debt to look like a tub of Crisco-based frosting (gross) on their wedding day.

Then, of course, there’s Four Weddings, another The Learning Channel (lol…) cess pool that pits brides against each other to see whose wedding trumps them all. Who cares about the meaning of marriage, after all, let’s reward the bride who spent the most on her rhinestone centerpieces!

And I’d be remiss not to include Bridezillas, although I can’t comment on this one too much. This show’s so terrible, that even I, a snarky wedding blogger, refuse to watch it. It’s too heartbreaking to make fun of.

Alas, judging from that above Lisa-Frank-#fail flier, Music TV (aka MTV, and all its off-topic, ungrammatical glory) is hoping to get in on the action: “Are you the Maid of Honor for your BFF’s wedding and you have to do EVERYTHING including hiding issues from the bride to keep her happy and worry-free?” (Dear MTV, ever heard of setting apart a non-essential clause with a pair of commas? No? Explains a lot.)

It also explains a lot that participants in this DOCU-SERIES (which means it’ll be MOSTLY STAGED) must be under 26 years old. And probably frequent users of the phrase “BFF,” which means they’re probably gonna cast children. Which means they’re probably gonna cast children who don’t really get the meaning of marriage. Which means this show is letting the terrorists win.

When can I stop wedding blogging again? Seventeen days? Sorted. This shit is getting depressing…