What would you do with $37,000?

In retrospect, I definitely wouldn’t have spent any part of it on $180 balloons.

*punches self in face*

How did this happen? Well, weirdly (albeit unsurprisingly), I’m the only one confused. My now-husband was not surprised by the number at all. Me? Shocked. Clearly… something happened here. For one, we (or probably mostly I) didn’t keep track of exactly what we were I was spending while we were I was spending it, which means a million little things like, erm, that time I spent $180 on fucking balloons (*dropkicks self in teeth*) or shelled out $500 for personalized cat stamps and napkins (although, I have no regrets about that one) ended up adding up. Big time.

Of course, let not our my money shambles go to waste. Let us take my mishaps and turn them into sound advice for those planning to wed in the future. Yes, friends, dig up those old Casio calculator watches from the ’90s and keep track of EVERYTHING while you’re planning. Because that ballpark figure you thought you had in mind along the way? It’s bullshit. Also, if you can, avoid credit cards and use straight cash. That way, you have no choice but to limit yourself and your unicorn barf whims.

Speaking of… I feel like such a hypocrite. This blog is called “The Anti Wedding” after all, and goddamn it if I didn’t throw…a fucking wedding. Thirty-seven-thousand bones is about as pro-wedding as they come.

Then again, aside from those idiotic balloons (*slap*), dang near everything had meaning to it. I mean, you saw some of the pictures, right? So, perhaps I’m still just a little bit credible? Maybe? Anyone?

Or I guess I can just think of it like this: memories are priceless or at least worth multiple thousands of dollars I’ll never… ever… get back.

Yup, we’ll go with that. In the meantime…

Hopefully the bar accepts credit…